I'm living with my parents, and probably will be for quite a while, and while it's nice of them and all to let me live here for free, the atmosphere is incredibly unhealthy. every house has its clutter, naturally, and I'm sure there are houses worse than this, but the real issue is that these people are also controlling and oblivious about it.
They've always had a clutter problem. They always want to move to new, bigger houses. both my sister and brother have moved out, and both their rooms have become storage rooms. Any time there is new space, it is quickly filled with food, or random niknaks. They'll collect furniture, particularly dressers and cabinets, and fill them with more food. I'm currently bedding in my brothers old room, on a queen sized mattress on the floor, and there is literally no floor space. the queen bed barely fits, stretching from the door to the window. There is one cabinet, two dressers, all full of food. on the top of the dressers is more food. Boxes of it. There is enough floor space for two boxes of food, containers of whey powder, beer, cake mixes, bags of rice, 2L bottles of soda, etc. the closet is full of food. Olives, sauces, crackers. There is a fajita grill on the top shelf. the only place for my stuff is literally on the bed with me, or tossed over the back of a chair I managed to scrape (literally scraped the wall) in for my cat to sleep on so she didn't get cat hair everywhere.
The only reason I'm in this room rather than my actual bedroom room is because it's too full of stuff to live in. the bed is covered in bags of clothes they bought for my nephew, who's playpen is in that room also. There is food covering the rest of it, food on the headboard, food on the floor. There is no access to my bookshelves because there's garbage bags full of clothes, shoes or food. the only place for clothes in that room is in one shelf of a five shelf dresser (the rest are filled with childrens clothes), and on top of a boxed keyboard that they bought at an antique shop that has only ever been used as an extra shelf (same situation in the dining room with an exercise machine, it's a shelf). I'm told I can't have that room back, because they need it for storage, and for my nephew to sleep in, or for company to sleep in.
I want someplace to actually exist, but I need some advice on how to go about it. I tried clearing out a room in the basement once, and after spending over 18 straight hours cleaning it, it looked the same as when I began, even though I'd thrown out 9 garbage bags worth of stuff and put more of it under the stairs. They acknowledge they have too much stuff, but continue to buy more. the most recent purchases were a 60" TV and a new dining room suite. often they justify purchases as, "it was on sale", or, "we'll need a new set of this eventually", or, "I bought this to give to my friends / give the old stuff to friends." but it stays here, gets put away, and forgotten.
How can I go about setting this straight? Even for just one room? I feel like I've bitten off more than I can chew, and the whole situation is just hopeless. Just being here is depressing. There's no space to move around in, so I spend most of the time laying in bed. It's the only space I have to myself. I need somewhere to work. I'm sure if I cleared an area of the floor, put a mat on it, and designated it "the push-up spot", it would be covered in a box of food within the week.
Some advice, please.
Your parents, like a lot of older people are afraid of not having food to eat. You live there for FREE, it's their house. Shut up and be happy that you're not going to go hungry. if you don't like it, save your money and get your own apartment.
Tell your parents how you feel about this issue, ask them if you
could sell some of the stuff that they aren't using. tell them that
it's overwhelming to be surrounded by all this stuff. Offer to help
them organize a garage sale, or ask your family or friends if they
need anything and you'll give it to them for a cheaper price. For
example, if your friend is looking for a new sofa and you happen
to have one that no one uses, you can offer to sell it to them for
a cheaper price. so that way it's good for you because you're
getting rid of an item, good for your friend because they're getting
a deal, and good for your parents because they're getting money.
Tell them to save the money, or use it for bills, not for buying new
items because that'll just be a mess all over again. Good luck!
Your parents have an obsessive-compulsive disorder with their cluttering. They are hoarders. There is no way you are EVER going to change them unless they get psychological help and want to change. You should move out before they drive you crazy. I'm serious about this.
You need to search the Internet for articles on hoarders or check the public library for books that explain the disorder. Good luck to you.
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