Ok, I have 2 daughters ages 8 and 10 sharing a room. We moved them to the biggest bedroom in the house and unfortunately they just took everything from the old room and dumped it in there.
I bought them new furniture bunk beds a bureau each and a desk. I also bought them new bedding etc to go with the new room, the whole thing is less little kid now and is shabby chic – like old fashioned white wood furniture with a country french sort of look. I spent quite a bit ( for me ) on this. They still after almost a month have a huge pile of mess. We started weeding clothes and toys out for a garage sale
I have tried grounding them and yelling at them. I work full time, so I have not had a lot of time to sit in there and direct them.
I'd like some other mom's take on this….
How do I motivate them to make this room as beautiful as it should be???
let it get so messy that eventually they will want to clean it
Easy one, do what my parents do for me, tell them that they can't do anything till their rooms are clean and leave it at that. If you choose this though you must stay committed and not break and let them do what they ask/whine for.
Start hiding their stuff and say you threw it away. Then when they start picking up, bring back the old stuff and threaten to do it for real next time.
take a trash bag and put everything on the floor into trash bags and when they go looking you tell them if they dont clean there rooms you will.
I had the same problem with my 15 y/o. I just finally had to set a certain day of the week when he cleans his room. If it isn't done, he spends the week-end at home and no company is allowed to come over.
The only thing that seems to motivate my children to get off their butts is to turn off the tvs and hide the remotes until they do their chores. Chores get done pretty quick when I do that.
Tell them that since their room is so dirty they'll have to sleep in the yard until it gets clean.
Get some kind of chart or calender. put each chore on the day or date and after it gets completed they get a star on each chore. after 5 stars they get a reward- like to rent a movie, or pick out a special snack that evening, or go to the park.
Bribery. have a star chart. They each get a star for everyday their 'half' of the room is tidy, and if they get a certain amount of stars they get a treat.
Well first of all… when you give kids more than they need, they don't learn how to respect it… you went over board I think… they didn't have to work hard to earn that new stuff… so they don't really care about it. Its not like you gave them one special new thing to take care of… you flooded their new room with fancy things.
This is easy… either they treat their things with respect or you get rid of them. this will be harder for you than them… give them a strong and very clear message. you pick up XYZ or its going to children who need it more than you. Period, if they don't pick up their room… you put it all in boxes and ship it out somewhere.
This all starts with you though… you can't expect them to think one way if you don't think that way also.
Reward for good behavior of cleaning the room and do not reward for any other reason.
Make a chart on the back of the door that you initial or put stars on it. For every chore they complete. For every thing that is complete (vaccumed, dusted, clothes put away etc) they get points. when they get enough points they can get music, clothes etc. If they don't do the chore by a certain date then points are taken away.
Take them every Saturday to get their rewards. Don't buy them clothes or give allowance if the chores are not done.
Put them in control. No yelling required. If they dont' do the work they don't get the reward. Stick to it. Don't cave.
Give them $5, make them think if they clean they'll get rewarded.
I'm not a Mom i'm a 20 year old guy.
trying giving there room a makeover and painting there room.I am a teen who used to hate cleaning my room and i would always just put everything in the closet when i was sunt to clean it.but since my parents did my room i keep it clean. and if that dosent work trry to guide them on what to do,go in there room and tell them instruction by instruction on what they need to do.for my mom that worked on me,even though it was annoying it worked.
Tell them bugs will come if they don't clean their room.
When they're trying to find sumthing they kept, in their room, and they can't find it, tell them thats what they get for not tidying up.
Their room sounds just beautiful, and they're very lucky girls!
I know what you are going through, because I have three girls, and they tend to be messy as well. part of the problem in our family is that they have waaaaaaay too much stuff! I helped them solve part of the problem by getting more storage items……little wicker baskets and storage bins. you might be able to do the same thing for your daughters. get some under-the-bed storage bins for them to put away certain toys and items. Also, get some covered, stackable plastic bins for their closets……more storage space. If they have more room to put things away, they're more likely to do it.
You put everything that they don;t clean up in a given amount of time(an hour or two) into garbage bags. Move the bags into the garage or somewhere. If they have to wear dirty clothes, or no socks, then so be it. My sister in law did this to her 13 year old recently. My niece begged her clothes back adn put everythign in it's place and she hasn;t had another problem.
$CHACHING!$
…I think you get the idea.
well with my kids i made a day to clean and i told them if it doesnt get done whatever is left on the floor or a mess is garbage sounds mean but let me tell you in an afternoon that room was spotless …..lol another thing i did was organize clothes,toys,papers, etc etc i did this alone so they couldnt cry and say they wanted to keep it all….lol it worked for our kids and hopefully you can try it i cant imagine working fulltime and keeping up with this type of things i was a stay at home mom so it was a bit easier so ^5 to you for doing it all and be patient and take a deep breath you still have the teen yrs to go…….lol god bless and good luck
If telling them they can't do anything else until they clean their room doesn't work (which it should) start taking things away. Take away their stereo, take away their favorite toys, take away books, whatever they like, take it away. put it in a box or a bag and put it in your room or the garage until they clean their room. Tell them flat out that they can't have any freedoms or privileges until they learn to treat their things with respect. No friends, no phone calls, no shopping, no games, no music, no books, no TV, no Internet. just homework, food, sleep and CLEAN until it's done. Believe me, it will work. Give them a day of boredom on the weekend and they'll get the picture.
Keeping it clean is the same message. "If I have to pick it up for you, it goes in my box and you don't get it back until you do such and such." Determine how long it will be before you pick up the item and what they have to do to get it back, like 1 day to pick it up and then clean the whole room, wash windows, clean the bathroom, or pay a small amount for each item. If they have to work for the things they want (and need) they will keep their room clean. Also, take away things they like for not vacuuming or picking up trash. that way you don't end up doing those things too.
try an allowance
grounding then from the Tv,after school activities
Radios
Phone
Friends.
I have a dry erase board on the frig telling my kids what chores they are to do everyday,There is no computer or game boy if there not done.
Specify what they need to do.
Nothing I have done has worked, including everything listed by people on here. Now If they want to live is a smelly pig sty then that's up to them, just shut the door and make them live with it for a while, they'll get sick of it.
You'll break before they will so stand firm. mine finally got sick of the mess and smell and wa la… a clean room. I never thought that was possible.
You know what works? Letting go. It's going to be very hard, but it's better than all the grounding and yelling, which is getting you nowhere and frustrating everyone. Haven't you heard of "pick your battles" when it comes to raising children? Why is it so important to you that their room be clean? Shut the door, and don't worry about how the room "should" look. I would calmly tell your daughters that it's their room and they're responsible for it. If they want it messy, they can have it as messy as they want. Kindly let them know that when they're ready to get it organized, you'll be more than happy to help them. Tell them you will not be going in their room to help them find something or to gather dirty laundry. find a place to put their clean laundry. I would definitely tell them that food will not be allowed in their room. this is a lesson in responsibility. let them learn it.
I have a 7 yr old myself and what works with her is if i tell her she can't hav company, go outside, or whatever it is that she wants until her room is clean it really helps! she's suppose to have a friend over this weekend and i didn't even have to tell her to clean her room. The garbage bag thing works as well. I've done that to her several times. just like if she leaves her stuff int he living room or wherever else, I never say anything to her about picking it up and taking it to her room. I just throw it away and when she asks about it I tell her what I did and she gets mad for a little while and cries, but then she gets over it and I usually don't have to say anything to her again for a long while bout keepin her stuff picked up and in her room.
Yelling doesn't work for you and they know that. you have to make a schedule time to clean up their room. My son cleans his room and most of the house once a week. He does that without me telling him because it is part of his schedule. ask them to pick a day and make sure they stick to it. If they don't stick to it then start taking things that they like away until they clean their room. you are the adult and you should run the house not a 8 and 10 year run you. you need to cut back on yelling. You're making them think it is ok if they are being yelled at because they have grown so custom to you yelling.
How do I motivate my daughters to clean their room without yelling???
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