OK so, I have a friend who's husband has always made good money. We are young (in our mid 20's) and it seems like no matter what they are always one step ahead of us financially. I'm not the competitive type and I really am happy for their success. my friend is ALWAYS rubbing it in though. I have to work as does my husband. my friend stays home with her kids and does not need to work. We'll get on the phone and instead of asking about how I am doing or how work was, she'll immediately go on and on about her day which is usually really rough (wink, wink). She'll say things like:
– I had to wait for 20 minutes to get into the tanning bed
– We just got back from the furniture store, I got a new bedroom set.
– I'm getting ready to go to the mall to get some new shorts.
– When I got my hair done the other day…
– When we go on our vacation this summer….
I know these things sound so trivial, but I can't afford any of the things she talks about and it makes me feel bad. I don't know how to approach her with the fact that it always seems like she's rubbing her money in my face. I know this list is lame, these were just the most recent things I could think of. This has been going on our entire friendship (6+ years). I just wish she would stop for a minute and think about how it's making me feel. please give me some kind words, or words of advice. thanks so much!
Just tell her straight that you dont like how she talks about money that she hasnt earned whilst you work your *** off. if she's a real frind she will understand..
find a better friend…she sounds like a complete bore
you can't afford to go to the mall and buy shorts?
It's unfortunate that her talking about certain things makes you feel sub par, but if she's been doing this for 6 years, then she's unlikely to be able to change her behavior even if you ask her to. These are the kinds of things that her life revolves around. if she's not supposed to talk about what is relevant in her life, then what IS she supposed to talk about? We don't really have the power to change other people, but we do have the power to change how we react to and feel about things. instead of focusing on the things that she has and you don't, focus on all of the great things that YOU have. it sounds to me like you need to do some soul searching to find satisfaction in the things that you already have accomplished and own. you don't need a summer vacation or a tanning bed to be happy, when you've got a family and your health.
she's not "rich" if she's buying everything on credit and not spending "cash"
just always cut the conversation short and get off the phone… she seem really waste full and I'm quite sure fer husband tells her the same… ask her is she saving any money
We all tend to get wrapped up in our own lives. I don't think that your friend is trying to make you feel bad, she's just trying to share her life with you. is the whole conversation always about her and what she does? or do you inject your day too? if she's always talking about herself I think she's using you as a sounding board. Tell her you need to vent about some things too.
You've learned something new about adulthood: Adults can be just as obnoxious as anyone.
My suggestion is that you begin to move in a different direction. Align yourself with people with similar values. This person is obviously enamored with the secular world. Things don't bring happiness and no one likes an obnoxious woman who simply wants to scream "look and me and my stuff".
By the way: Chances are, these people are b r o k e beyond belief, have no reserves, give nothing to charity and live for the doll-ah.
O man, that can be really frustrating and annoying. She sounds kinda shallow and I'm wondering what the friendship is about if it's been this way the entire friendship. one of my bosses is like that(she's a lawyer and married another rich lawyer) and whines about the fact that their million dollar house doesn't have a heated driveway. really?
But anyway, my guess is that she doesn't think about your feelings at all partly because you haven't expressed them to her (and she's shallow and selfish). It's not completely fair of you to be upset at her when you haven't told her that this bothers you. I understand why you are, don't get me wrong, I would be too. so you have two choices. Don't expect anything supportive, kind, or sympathetic from her and just listen to her silliness and then go call a real friend, or tell her that you are truly happy for her success,etc. but when you are struggling to make ends meet it can be difficult to hear about HER all the time. there are different kinds of friends; she may be fun to go out with or something but not so great at support and kindness. decide what you can realistically expect from her as a friend and go from there. good luck sweetie.
You could just bluntly tell her how you feel, that's what I would do. no one hears you really until you REALLY open up to them and tell them EXACTLY whats on your mind, but if you think about it a person that would do this has no consideration for you. I know that you have been friends for six years but maybe she is just a long time acquaintance. Rethink what kind of person she has been all these years, I know it may be hard but if you want to feel good about the situation than you must think about it really.
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Help I need advice with my "rich" friend?
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